Plus: Rubbish goalkeepers substituted at half-time and the hardest shot ever recorded in football. The Knowledge is taking a break during the off-season, but you can still send your questions to knowledge@guardian.co.uk or on Twitter
"Who is the poshest person to play professional football in the modern era?" asked Michael Dunn, back in the boom times of 2004.
There were several of you who emailed in to remind us of the likes of Seventies icons Forbes Phillipson-Masters and Peter Rhodes-Brown, who plied their trade for Southampton and Chelsea respectively. "Double-barrelled and playing football?" you asked incredulously.
And while we also doubt they would have negotiated an inner-city comprehensive too successfully, the last we heard Forbes was a painter and decorator managing a small reserve team in Dorset. Peter Rhodes-Brown must still have a plum in his mouth though - he's now the match announcer at Oxford United's Kassam Stadium.
Orhan Avsar suggested Oliver Bierhoff, German national hero and luminary of various clubs throughout Europe. He's also the son of a German energy giant and a well behaved sort of chap who took himself off to college too. He also put forward captain of Libya's national side, Al-Saadi Gaddafi, on the basis of his family controlling vast amounts of oil. But though this means you are filthy rich, it does not in any way mean you are posh. Just look at Robbie Williams.
Graham Le Saux got some lengthy consideration, what with the posh name and big pink house in a nice expensive part of Surrey, but there were too many horror tackles on the books for Graham to be truly named a gent.
No, that title is reserved, so far, for footballing aristocrat Gianluca Vialli. Not just a great striker and a OK-ish manager, but the son of a self-made millionaire who was brought up with his four siblings in the 60-room Castello di Belgioioso in Cremona. That's castle for anyone who does not speak Italian. And a big one at that.
"And that shirt, tie and V-neck sweater combo he used to sport in his post match interviews was not the attire of a commoner, surely?" says Garrett Murphy. Indeed.
RUBBISH GOALKEEPERS SUBSTITUTED AT HALF-TIME
"Has there ever been a top-flight goalkeeper in world football that's been so awful he's been substituted in the first half?" wondered Duncan Morris, back in 2006.
Yes, Duncan, and quite a few at that. First on the list is Jens Lehmann, who suffered the fate in an away game at Cagliari during his disastrous spell with Milan in 1998. Lehmann started the match by completely missing a cross to gift-wrap Cagliari their opening goal, and then up-ended Roberto Muzzi to concede a penalty. Milan coach Alberto Zaccheroni had seen enough and immediately brought on Sebastiano Rossi for the beleaguered Lehmann. Rossi saved Muzzi's ensuing spot-kick, but Cagliari still ran out 1-0 winners. So bad was Lehmann's performance, in fact, that Milan fans called for him to be replaced by Mark Bosnich.
More recently - on the final day of the 2005-06 season, to be precise - Le Mans goalkeeper Yohan Pelé endured a similar fate. With his side trailing Lyon 3-1 after 35 minutes, Pelé was hauled off, with Rodolphe Roche taking his place. But the replacement did even worse, shipping five with the game ending 8-1.
There have been just as many similar cases in the international arena. Take the World Cup qualifier between Ghana and Nigeria in 2001, for example: the Super Eagles raced into a 3-0 lead within 35 minutes, prompting the Ghanaian manager to bench goalkeeper James Nanor for Osei Boateng. He lasted two minutes before being sent off, forcing captain Emmanuel Kuffour to step into the breach and keep the damage down to 3-0. Sympathy was in short supply for Nanor, who, incidentally, once spat in the face of a referee during a club match for Hearts of Oak in the 1999 African Champions League. He was banned for a year.
"Don't forget Mwamba Kazadi of Zaire," pipes up Mike Gibbons, recalling the 1974 World Cup group game involving the Leopards and Yugoslavia. How could we? "Kazadi conceded three goals in the first 20 minutes and was substituted by his Yugoslavian coach. Replacement keeper Dimbi Tubilandu's first touch was to pick the ball out of his net, which he'd do another five times in a 9-0 defeat."
Finally, Eduardo Villanueva remembers a South American play-off for a spot at the 1986 World Cup - one that Peruvian national keeper Jose Acasuzo would do well to forget. "Acasuzo only played against Chile after a long controversy due to his wish to be paid a lot more and allowed to train with his new side, outside Peru. He was so out of form that the first Chilean shot went through his legs and into the goal, before two more easily beat him. Come the 13th minute, Ramón Quiroga came on for him and Acasuzo never played again for the national side, or in Peru for that matter. Peru lost the game 5-3."
THE HARDEST RECORDED SHOT IN FOOTBALL EVER!
"There was a great hullabaloo over Obafemi Martins' goal against Spurs last month, timed at 84mph, with Telegraph journalist Henry Winter speculating that it could take the crown," wrote Archi Campbell in February 2007. "However, I remember a goal by David Trezeguet for Monaco against Man Utd in the Champions League quarter-finals of 1998 that was timed at 96mph. This would also be faster than Nicky Summerbee's 87mph shot on Record Breakers, which is often given as the fastest shot ever. Was Trezeguet's shot really that fast, and if so, why does everyone seem to ignore it?"
"There's no official record," explained the Football Association's historian David Barber when quizzed, but we knew our readers weren't going to be palmed off so easily. Therefore, armed with a toothcomb, our archives and a handy list of humdingers measured on the Sky Sports Replay 2000 tracking machine, we can provide you with the most authentic - if unofficial - list of heavy hitters at our disposal.
First off, three things: Martins' goal is only the ninth hardest shot recorded; Summerbee's effort was obviously not in a competitive match so we'll ignore it; and Trezeguet's thunderbolt at Old Trafford can only have been ignored because it was in European competition - but it was recorded at 96mph, putting him third on our list.
Pipping Trezeguet, however, is David Beckham (the only player to appear twice in our top 10), who smashed home a 97.9mph effort of his own against Chelsea on February 22 1997. That might top our list of powerful goals, but there is one harder shot - recorded by Sky's fancy device - that puts it well and truly in the shade. Step forward ... Sheffield Wednesday's David Hirst, who drilled a 14.8-yard howitzer against the crossbar at a whopping 114mph during a 4-1 defeat at Arsenal on September 16 1996. Therefore, our top 10, as it stands, is ...
1) David Hirst - 114mph (for Sheffield Wednesday @ Arsenal on September 16 1996)
2) David Beckham - 97.9mph (for Man Utd v Chelsea on February 22 1997)
3) David Trezeguet - 96mph (for Monaco @ Man Utd on March 19 1998)
4) Richie Humphreys - 95.9mph (for Sheffield Wednesday v Aston Villa on August 17 1996)
5) Matt Le Tissier - 86.8mph (for Southampton v Newcastle on January 18 1997)
6) Alan Shearer - 85.8mph (for Newcastle v Leicester on February 2 1997)
7) Roberto Carlos - 85.2mph (for Brazil v France on June 3 1997)
8) Tugay - 84.2mph (for Blackburn @ Southampton on November 3 2001)
9) Obafemi Martins - 84mph (for Newcastle @ Tottenham on January 14 2007)
10) David Beckham - 80.5mph (for Man Utd @ Derby on September 4 1996)
• Send your questions and answers to knowledge@guardian.co.uk. And for thousands more questions and answers, take a trip through the Knowledge archive.
via Football news, match reports and fixtures | theguardian.com http://www.theguardian.com/football/2013/jul/31/knowledge-posh-footballers-castle
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