Today's stories feel like they're trapped in a room floating through space for eternity, it's like the end of Sapphire and Steel but with Wayne Rooney rather than Joanna Lumley
Arsenal, we have been copy-and-pasting all summer, are in the market for a marquee signing or two. Having managed to secure a grand total of zero during the first 60 days of the window, now they're going for three in the last four, which seems a bit ambitious to us, but this is what they're insisting. Karim Benzema, Mesut Ozil and Angel di María of Real Madrid are the men in question, £70m the figure that's been plucked from the ether along with their names.
Manchester United, we have been copy-and-pasting all summer, are interested in Everton duo Marouane Fellaini and Leighton Baines. They've upped their bid by another few brass buttons to £36m, David Moyes seemingly obsessed with making Bill Kenwright cry for the first time since that bravura performance in the Rovers when Betty died in Coronation Street.
Liverpool, we have been copy-and-pasting all summer, really need to sort out their central defensive problems, the likes of Ron Yeats, Alan Hansen and Sami Hyypia having left rather a long time ago now. It'll be either Mamadou Sakho and Tiago Ilori, providing chief executive Ian 'Easy Rider' Ayre doesn't shut up shop before the window closes again and pop off for a spin on his chopper. They're also after Aston Villa reject Shay Given as cover for Simon Mignolet, and in the most optimistic move of the entire window by any club in Europe, are looking for someone to buy Brad Jones.
Eliaquim Mangala, we have been copy-and-pasting all summer, is moving to the Premier League. But where? Manchester United seemed the most obvious destination, but Manchester City and Chelsea have joined the race. They'll all most likely be disappointed, as Barcelona are also showing an interest, and this is the food chain.
Chelsea, we have been copy-and-pasting all summer, are looking to hoick Fernando Torres out of the window. He might end up joining his old pals Atlético Madrid now that Samuel Eto'o has joined the club. Demba Ba meanwhile is being linked with a move back to Newcastle. It's also possible that José Mourinho is considering getting shot of Eto'o, if this recent no-striker gambit of his, which makes Rafael Benítez look more swashbuckling than Tommy Docherty, is anything to go by.
And finally, help. We're trapped in a room. There's no way out!
via Football news, match reports and fixtures | theguardian.com http://feeds.theguardian.com/c/34708/f/663845/s/3094f6b4/sc/13/l/0L0Stheguardian0N0Cfootball0C20A130Caug0C30A0Cfootball0Etransfer0Erumours0Earsenal0Ebenzema0Edi0Emaria0Eozil/story01.htm
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